July 28, 2016
I have not used this platform to preach directly against silicone implants. I do not wish to do so. I have made it clear they were not for me on multiple levels. I have shared the general reasons why I decided to have the explant surgery. I have written of the clouded decision-making and the external influences that led me to opt for two foreign masses in my body eight years ago even though my instinct was to do otherwise. Electing to remove those heavy sacks was the perfect metaphor for the last few years of my life. If something does not feel right, it is my responsibility to continue to ask the questions in order to identify the root of the disharmony and decay. And, when I identify something that is off, I have the power to decide whether or not to make a last cut. Cause and effect. Action and desired outcome. How do I want to feel? What am I doing about it?
On the other side of my explant surgery, I am confident that my implants, whether directly (because they are composed of chemicals that inevitably leech even without an actual leak) or indirectly (because foreign is foreign and, in a sensitive system like mine, even the wrong type of food can cause massive inflammation and illness), were contributing to or, at a minimum, aggravating my health problems. Chronic and acute conditions have improved and/or disappeared (contact me directly if you care to dialogue in more detail). I have worked holistically on improving my health for over 20 years, but there were still always blocks. The last six months have been a steady move in the right direction towards relief in so many areas. Physically and emotionally, I made the best decision for me, but I recognize my choice is not for everyone. I cannot speak for others, nor pretend to know what it feels like to be in anyone else’s body. I can only share my realizations and relief on the other side of the removal.
Yet, as I consider my desired role in this current moment in our history, which feels incredibly tenuous, precious and potent, I am compelled to remind all of us (myself included) that we must speak up when something does not feel right. We must ask questions. We must not settle. We must not accept answers provided if they do not sit well. It is our right (our responsibility) to continue speaking up and out for ourselves about what we believe in, especially when it pertains to our health and well-being (in the broadest sense of the word) and what we know to be right for and around our bodies and lives in general. We must not settle for the imposition of anyone else’s beliefs on how we should look, feel or identify. We must not settle for subpar explanations of what ingredients are in our implants, our food, our air, our water, our laws, our political system. If we settle, we quietly and passively say ok to something that is not right and allow it to fester.
I see myself reflected in the many women who have suffered from silicone implant illness, as I read their posts and pleas. I know firsthand how horrific it is to feel sick for too long and not know exactly why. I am grateful to have made it to the other side relatively unscathed. For the first time in my memory, I feel whole and well. The current discussion around implants is the tip of the iceberg. We must demand transparency in the medical field, as in the political arena. I believe any change begins with taking responsibility for our personal experience. Ask the questions. Obtain the information. Make informed decisions. Take a stand. Show people what you believe in. Teach through your actions. Make the last cuts that lead you to living your truth. I know it is why I am here. I am confident it is why we are all here.