December 23, 2017
The last few weeks I have felt like this guy—feet (nearly) on the ground but constantly looking around in high alert. Fires. Wonky thyroid levels. Motherhood. Searching for the words to express what I feel with varying success rates depending on the moment. The holidays. (I do love connecting and celebrating but the frenetic energy that comes with the holidays out in the world makes my head spin at times). Tonight, I am beyond grateful to be back in my home in Santa Barbara. Other than some ash, things in the house look the same as they did when I left in a hurry two weeks ago, but everything feels 100% new and different. Perhaps the same is true of me? With the fires and this recent refinement with my health, more than just our beautiful mountains burned. This season has asked me to relinquish my desire for control and brought me to my knees in appreciation of the close friends and community I hold dear. I plan to spend this next week in deep reflection of what I desire in 2018. Crisis makes us get clear on what truly matters but how do we carry that forth with intention, grace and calm? Since the evacuation was lifted, I have had two dreams foreshadowing the beauty and connection coming ahead. That’s where I plan to focus my energy and flow my love.